wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
