we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
