sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
