It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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