He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
They have beer where we have blood.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
