goodnight i made you a song goodbye
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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