Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
A+ Viking dick
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
