do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
