I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
