Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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