talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
