i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
