i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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