8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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