I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We were destined to go to rehab together
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
