her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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