Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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