Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
