I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
