You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
