RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
