it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
