Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
