she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
