I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
