im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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