College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
