she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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