I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
