Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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