so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
