i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Randomize
