Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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