can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
