Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize