question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
