She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
