you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
