dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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