Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
