woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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