Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
