Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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