Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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