so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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