How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
