It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
