Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
