Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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