Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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