come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
