Pants 0. Shit 1.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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