I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
