He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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