she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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